The Funny Thing About Failure….

After struggling to run over the last week due to calf pain on my right leg, it came to a head with me trying to run yet again after resting it for 5 days with a sharp, stabbing pain in the back of my calf last Thursday.  I had a pretty good idea that the news was not good and was not surprised when the physio confirmed the diagnosis of minor calf tear (Grade 1-2) and stated that I would not be running in 8 days without risking further injury.  I initially felt an overwhelming sense of failure that I would not be able to run in the Adventurethon.  I felt like all my hard work had gone to waste, four months of being sore every single day (except after rest day), dragging myself out to run or train, often with four kids in tow, paying money for the kayak and a couple of lessons, all thrown out the window for a little muscle tear in the final week.  After throwing myself a little pity party, I picked myself up and decided that I can still complete the adventurethon by walking its just going to take me a bit longer.

Along the way I have realised a few things about failure:

  • Firstly….

Can't fail

  • When assessing failure you have to review the overall goal.

My reasons for competing in an Adventurethon were that I wanted something to train for, I wanted to travel somewhere I haven’t been before to do the event, I wanted to challenge myself, see if I could do it and do it to the best of my ability, and I wanted to do something that I had never done before.

When coming to terms with not being able to run the final leg I realised that I could still walk it which meant that I could still complete the event and it was still going to challenge me in all the ways that mattered.  My game plan initially was to expend as little energy as possible in the kayak, go steady in the bike, and then leave nothing left in the final run.  Now I will be pushing both the kayak and the bike a little harder and then trying to bring it home as quick as I can walk it.  Same, same…

This has absolutely given me something to train for and looking back at where I started (read this post), I am amazed at how far my fitness and strength has come.  I couldn’t run 2km without dying and now I can run 5.5km comfortably.  45minutes on the exercise bike was my long ride and that is now my recovery ride.  I couldn’t kayak 3 weeks ago, didn’t know the first thing about it actually, to being able to leave my instructor, Dave, behind in our final paddle session.  I have lifted weights in crossfit that I didn’t think I could and completed brutal sessions that I would not have done a couple of months ago and followed it up with a run.  I can get a kayak on top of the bloody patrol by myself and strap it down with occy straps (may not sound like much but hubby usually does all this so I am proud of this).

kayak strap

 

So all in all I am feeling OK with this turn of events.  Its not how I planned it and I would have liked to have been fighting fit and given it a good old crack.  I will still give it everything but it will be very frustrating watching everyone run past me.  All good, I will probably be that stuffed that I won’t give a hot damn…hehe will probably be grateful for my ‘excuse’ not to run!

  • No one can make you feel like a failure without your consent, or as Eleanor Roosevelt would say…

No one can make you

Image Credit

Roll on Adventurethon Albany, I am as ready as I will ever be.